Friday, May 8, 2009

Let's Hear It For Little Miss Dumbass, Bristol!

Okay, during the election it truly killed me when the Republicants cried about Sarah Palin's family being 'off-limits', and the now-POTUS avoided the potential backlash by wisely declaring the same thing, but since it's pretty obvious her Mom is dead-set on political maneuvering in some hubris-fueled aspiration at running against Obama in 2012, she's now 18 and legally (but certainly not mentally) an adult, I feel I would be remiss to not say something about her recent 'new job' and 180 on the subject of abstinance. 
For those of you that might have missed it, Mommy's Little Empire-Killer and Evil Baby-Mama is now the spokesperson for an Abstinance Campaign in New York. How the hell does this work? Anyway, I mentioned before that during the election that kid Levi Johnson, the baby-daddy, was the world's most high-profile political prisoner. Only the most stupid were surprised when they split after the GOP got their balls snipped and Ziplocked in the election, and now they are battling it out on the talk show circuit (I thought my breakups were nasty). LJ is still KIR and saying "Abstinance alone does not work..." but Bristol Palin aka Yukon Brittney is going on The Today Show and sounding a lot like her mother in the Katie Couric interview. I really am starting to wish that Sarah and her Husband got their wish of Alaska seccession, or we could put a wall around Alaska until they aren't in power anymore... or just give it to Canada and make it their problem.
Every day since November the Republicant party (yeah, I call them Republi-can'ts. Because they can't do shit other than criticize and cock-block, they are not useful for anything other than messing shit up) has sunk further and further. I laughed when they picked Sarah Palin (just so damn transparent, John McCain, You Mavericky-Maverick Sellout-Dude), I laughed when they lost, and I'm still laughing that they are letting Rush Limbaugh (the pill-poppin' drug-addicted hypocrite) speak as the face of the party, they put a token negro in charge (he's Obama-Lite, but without the annoying Liberal shit... okay, he's Obama-Right) in Michael Steele, then emasculated him (yeah, that whole "Fear Of A Black Penis" thing again), and the whole idea of abstinance-only programs are absolutely the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Kids nowadays don't think that oral sex 'counts' as having sex, we have the HPV virus that can lead to cancer, and these complete asshats from the Bush Era are denying federal funding to any state that teaches any sort of responsible sexual behavior. I think that's why I'm so vehemetly opposed to Conservatives. Don't get me wrong, I know that Democrats are not squeaky-clean, but they just aren't nearly as blatantly moronic, religiously ignorant, and willfully nonsensical as the Republicans choose to be. As soon as someone says "Republican", I think "hubris" or "ostentatious". I think 8 years of watching Rome burn and President Hee-Haw playing the fiddle all the way back to Texas. They make me retch. And now, we have Ms. Ready-for-Reality-TV telling kids "Don't Do What I Did, Cuz You're Smarter Than Me." No, Bristol. They aren't. They are teenagers. They come pre-loaded with brain damage, enough to take them right through college. They will not listen when we say "Don't have sex." Just like your stupid ass.

-ere'bodee's favorite mega, blogninja

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