Wednesday, August 6, 2014

I Miss My Blog

I was watching "White House Down" a few months ago and Channing Tatum called his daughter's YouTube channel a "vlog".

"They don't call them vlogs anymore, Dad."

Wow. I knew I was getting old, but I always thought I was technologically "in-the-know" because I've existed here (in cyberspace) for what seems like forever.

I was on,, BlackPlanet, MySpace, etc. I have a long digital footprint. But I haven't a clue what to call a video blog other than a "vlog".

Anyway, I miss my blog. I miss the interaction. I miss the exchange. I miss the platform.

I decided that I'd stop in and jot down a few new words since I still have this address pasted across my Twitter page, I should do something to show I'm still alive. Maybe I'll have some other things to post here. Regardless, I miss this space. What I plan to do about it? Not really sure, will have to think about it for awhile. When I had an Android phone I considered mobile blogging, but typing on a touchscreen is really not typing as I know it. I prefer a keyboard so I can get into a definitive rhythm. I never feel like I can really get my point fully expressed on a touchscreen. Now I'm on a Windows Phone (which I love, by the way), so that's not even an option anymore, thanks.

My son told me an absolutely hilarious urban legend about a guy I know personally who was thought to be a kidnapper and a child molester... I guess you had to be there. Anyway, it came off as a marvelous idea for a short story or a script. I might have to look into it. Maybe I'll post some of it here, leave it out there as a buried "treasure" if you're a fan of my work. Someone may come here and stumble upon it and say "Yo, I didn't know he wrote this? How did I miss this?"

Yeah, as if anybody still cares.

I totally understand. I'm doing my own Hank Moody lately. I do have some great ideas, but I'm not sure which I want to commit to. Whatever it is, it's going to have to be something that I can't share with anyone until it's finished, I'm hoping to do an eBook. I need to get crackin'.

So if you're lucky enough to find this, you have just a little more insight into what I got planned than the next guy.

Assuming you give a fuck.

You do give a fuck, right?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

What's The Plan, Stan?

I hate to be presumptuous about time. I've posted updates on my Facebook before reminding us that tomorrow is not promised, Death has it's own schedule. We can't let that stop us from living, and part of living involves plans and dreams...

"Tomorrow is NOT promised."

I think as a country we've been in a dark period. Political discourse has been the norm ever since we elected our 44th President back in 2008. The irony is that I don't think I've ever been more hopeful as I was after that, and now I think I'm probably the most disappointed I've ever been in our country. A lot of people could argue that I shouldn't let politics affect me in such a way, but it is what it is. It matters. The toughest parts of my youth were under Reagan and Bush. The best parts of my adult life were under Clinton, and everything since then have been a struggle under Bush Jr. I know, I know, this is coming off as a political blog, but it's not, trust me.

Making things a little more personal, I've been in a holding pattern for a number of years now... While I love my hometown, I've seen what life away from Duval can be like through my own experiences (in NY) and the experiences of my friends (Alyssa in NY, Rob Roy in LA, Daisey and Batsauce in Europe), and my own goal has been to go back out into the world. If you ever set foot in NYC and see what that city has to offer, you can never forget it. It's the character of the place itself. I've been watching "How To Make It In America" and I can't lie, every episode makes me miss NY that much more.

I assume that everyone who reads my blog has read it before, that's a poor assumption on my part. I should remind folks of my history. A few years back (2003) I met a guy in the county that later became my good friend... he was an artist, had a development deal with Epic and I produced a few tracks for him. He was managed by a woman who was managing Memphis Bleek at the time and was living in Brooklyn. He invited me up, I dragged myself and my huge Triton Classic on a Greydawg and took up residence in the Bronx.

I ended up living in a studio on the corner of 165th and Washington. If you know this part of town, you know, this is the real gully borough... Duval prepared me for it, trust me. These guys was the truest definition of underground. The two guys who owned the studio (I remember Barry, can't recall his brother's name, but he was the realest. Made sure I never went anywhere without money of my own in my pocket if I put in work) were not rich, they were some guys who came into some money and decided to invest it in a recording studio. Nobody ever considered that they might need to fix some of the stuff if it ever broke down, so when the hard drive crashed on the Yamaha AW1600 and they found out that servicing it would cost $350 and lose them a couple days of studio bookings, you should have seen the look on their faces when I said "If you buy the new drive, I'll put it in and we won't lose any days of bookings." GetoGeek saved the day, I became Mega the computer guy.

Being a part of their team felt good, because those of you who have experience being in charge of anything know that the leader has a bullseye trained on his head at all times. Stepping down and being an essential part of something was educational and liberating. If I had previous knowledge of what I was stepping into, I would have been better prepared to take advantage of the opportunities a metropolis like New York has to offer. I'd like another crack at the Big Apple.

So without going too far into the War Story Chest, I plan to make the road my home in 2012. I got a group of insanely talented friends in North Carolina (shouts to Mr. Invisible and N'DANGR Species) I want to make some music with them. I plan to do everything with Native Instruments products, so I hope we can even get their attention. Much of this is spurred by the announcement of Google Music, which I think is a watershed moment in digital music, especially if you are an artist in this day and age.

I don't want to go into the whole Mayan Calendar thing, but 2012 seems like the year we all need to be getting on with whatever it is we want to get done. I'd hate to remind you... but tomorrow ain't promised. In fact, it ain't even inferred.

-ere'bodee's favorite mega, blogninja

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Confessions Of A Lifelong Blogger

I was blogging before I knew what the word meant.

I have been keeping a journal my whole life... well, not my WHOLE life, but by the time I was 16 it was a requirement. I didn't keep it to let a bunch of people read it, but it's funny how that seems to happen. I personally would never pick up someone's journal and start reading. Maybe it's something about people who understand what it is to document certain events. It's also the nature of nosey fucking bastards to pick something up and read it without asking. They would never write down certain things because they wouldn't want you to know (like the fact that your 19-year-old best friend is sleeping with the mother of your other 18-year-old best friend... thanks, dude. And you got mad at me because you read in my journal that I ALMOST slept with you EX-girlfriend? That's audacity). The irony is that even if you don't write it down, eventually the embarrassing thing will STILL come out, so why bother hiding it?

So later on I started keeping a digital journal, but those things disappear faster than the hardcopy/paper ones. One virus, and years of work would just go down the drain. I've had to adopt a "Oh well, shit happens" frame-of-mind in regards to them and say "Maybe that wasn't meant to be shared, it just had to be written" kind of attitude towards those. This was long before "The Cloud" was even thought of. Backing up was an activity you set aside an entire day to do. (None of you noobs remember tape backups, do you? Don't lie, I'll know! What was the one thing that could screw an entire back up? Post it in the comments if you know...)

Then in 2005, a funny thing happened. I don't remember how, but I ended up on a little site called MySpace, and I notice this little feature called "Blogging". I check it out, and I'm like....wait, whatthefuck? I can post things, whatever I want, and people can read and comment on it? Seriously?

My Blog was called "The Big Bad Blog". Didn't start off that way, but it evolved into it. Know why? Well, the tables had turned. At first, I had to hide my journal because everybody wanted to know what I was saying about them. Later on, things changed. It wasn't about what I was writing about them, they were far more concerned with what people were reading about them... My blog throughout my family is infamous. The way they talk you'd think I was documenting people's bowel movements. I never did. In honesty, I wrote about my interactions and frustrations. Sometimes, I named names. Sometimes, I didn't. The ones I think that really got to people are the ones that I didn't name names but people STILL knew who I was talking about, because actions still speak louder than words.

I miss the MySpace Blogging Community... now that, was a nasty bunch. You haven't met an internet mean girl until you've seen the ones that can mobilize an entire blog-clique to battle you on your own blog. I mean, they get NASTY. Oh, and coupled with the ever-changing blog rankings, things were hilarious. You had to be there to really appreciate it. On one hand, it was quite juvenile, on the other, it was very moving. I made friends with some of those bloggers and the friendships carried over, we followed each other into other social media platforms. Nothing brought things back like the old Blog-Gang of MySpace, though. I made friends with Adrianne Curry and Somaya Reece, primarily through comments on blog posts.

And while I don't have the tight-knit community of MySpace, I still have my own little corner of the Net carved out here, my Letters From Zion (yes, I am a Matrix junkie), and I created it because I was afraid of what could happen to my blogs on MySpace in the event that my profile would ever be deleted. There's 3 years of memories on there that would just vanish into nothing. The fear became so prevalent that I stopped blogging there altogether and it's more of an archive now. Kind of sad. Had MySpace come up with a way of backing them all up, I'd still be there most likely and when all the other people bailed on them, maybe the bloggers would have held them down?

So what the hell is this all about? No other reason than to test out the new interface on Blogger now that they are slowly merging it into Google+. I like the dashboard so far, it's clean, and it's the one thing I wanted so much to be on Google+ for. It's like they are building a social network around my blog instead of sticking blogging into social networking.

I still say this is the one place where Facebook most egregiously dropped the ball... or maybe it's better that they didn't fix it? People who weren't even ON MySpace would hear about my blog back in the day, I can only imagine what things would have been like on Facebook where familial connections are right in your face. I would have taken drama to an all-time high, even when it wasn't my intention. People should use the "Loop Of Life" test. If there is something that you wouldn't want on a video auto-loop of you doing over and over again, it's probably not a good idea for you to do it in the first place. Like you sleeping with your best friend's ex... somebody somewhere just might say something about it, as it relates to them.

Well, this was just a test, and I'm getting all crazy... internet people have short attention spans. Most people would have zoned out by now and pulled a Scott Pilgim "This is... this is... this is booooooring."

Sorry I couldn't entertain you this time... maybe next time I'll have the drama-llama in attendance....

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Just One Of Those Days

Yeah, sometimes you just have one of those days... or weeks... or months.

I wish I could narrow it down to one specific reason I feel this way, but I can't.

It's a host of things.

One is my son trying to snore directly above my head.

I may have to kill someone.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Things I Never Said

Sometimes I wonder about my little corner of the world... I wonder how many sets of eyes come through and see what I have to say? It's weird, for a number of reasons.

I don't have nearly the traffic I used to have on MySpace. In fact, I had so much traffic there and there was such a hustle and bustle to "keep up" with the Blogosphere on there, I often had to find topics to write about. No such hurry here. It's just me and my one dedicated fan that I know is reading... but who are the rest of you?

I can't spend a lot of time worrying about the Unknown. How much concern can I give to those whom I do not know? Only so much.

Some are waiting to hear if I have anything to say about them. The irony of those people waiting for me to say something is that they constantly keep my name in their mouth, as if I am their standard by which they live, and I don't know why this is? Maybe I'm the one that being stupid by NOT writing about them? I mean, the one time I did write about their very public fight right in the middle of the street with their baby-mama, they act like I did something wrong. Truth be told, I wouldn't have even written about it had it not been for the fact that their antics made me have to babysit, that's actually what I was complaining about (hey, it's a blog, I'm allowed to be self-indulgent!), I don't write about them as a subject. Even now, I'm talking about them and not mentioning their name.

If I were this person, I probably wouldn't want anyone writing about me, either. Especially when I have a bad habit of letting my hands slip when I get into arguments with my girlfriends (plural). This is looking more and more like a pattern of behavior... I'm not perfect, my ex made it a point to let everybody know I grabbed her and did hurt her in the middle of a confrontation (she always leaves out the part about her breaking down a locked bathroom door between us, but whatever), and my fake friend made it a point to call me a "woman-beater" when we found out he was a cheater that sleeps with his friend's girlfriends behind their backs, but I will never allow myself to be pushed to that point again. You're not sorry if you keep doing it. Hell, they even said to me "Y'know, sometimes you have to smack 'em..." No, you never have to. If she makes you "have to", then you "have to" call the police on her and get her some damn help.

Topics like that would guarantee me some constant traffic, right? Well, if that's how I gotta get it, fuck traffic. Anyway, my point was, I wonder about the eyeballs that peruse? Who's out there?

I don't know that the present-day traffic is my concern, or even should be. One day I'm going to look back at certain events, and the one way I'll best be able to recall how I felt is to refer back to my blog. It's funny, the very few journals I still have from my youth give me such clarity on how I felt back then. I can see things through 17-year-old T. Jordan's eyes. Then there's a whole different rub...

Like right now, I'm wondering how we're going to make it through the next month because we have to pay the utility company another deposit of $500, meaning we had a single-month utility bill of $1000 (that's stupidly high), four times what it normally is. Not really something I want to come back and think about later... shit, not something I even want to talk about now.

Either way, I'm going to start loosening up the reins on this thing... I'm going to start naming names a little more, because that's what the fuck I do...

Don't want me to talk about you? Hide from me, keep it a secret, whatever, but I'm sick of feeling like the bad guy because people around me do slimy shit and are deathly afraid of being exposed. If it affects me, I have the right to talk about it. Even if it doesn't affect me, I can write about it... I'm just trying to lay down some parameters.

Truthfully, it doesn't matter. If they want me to be wrong, I'll be wrong. Here's where the problem comes in, though: you've done quite well not giving a fuck what anybody has to say about what you do, so now I'm going to play your way. I don't give a FUCK what you think about what I have to say, and that's that. Because I haven't mentioned anyone by name, they won't even comment on this, nary a mention will be made of this. But I'm about to start naming names, folks.

And it ain't about traffic...

-ere'bodee's favorite mega, blogninja

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Casey Anthony: Was Justice Done?

casey anthony

I've been following the Casey Anthony trial for quite some time. The idea that a parent could neglect the disappearance of their child for an entire month is absolutely abhorrent, and I think that's the core of why everyone is so incensed about her acquittal. I've seen people who feel as though the system is broken and some who say justice was not done.

I'm not nearly as emotional as some of my peers, the point of law is parity. Without the legal system Casey Anthony would have been dragged to the center of town and hung from an oak. The problem is I've seen that kind of "justice" used against too many of my ancestors when they certainly deserved better. The part of me that demands true fairness couldn't let that happen.

A lot of people have referenced the OJ Simpson trial (in different contexts) and I think that's a good example of how the court of public opinion differs from a court of law (and should). The jury had a responsibility to judge the merits of the case as presented in court. They were not privvy to all the things we have been exposed to in the media. They had to be impartial, and follow the letter of the law. I think those 12 people did an exemplary job. I'm glad I wasn't on that jury, and frankly I'm glad many of my peers weren't on it, either.

Emotions and prejudices have no place in a perfect legal system. The design is to find someone that will either be partial to your side (be it defense or prosecution) or to find someone who will at least be fair. The case presented and the evidence provided is what should compel, but you have to be willing to see and accept everything presented to the court. If indeed this can be implemented in every situation, then Black defendants stand a better chance when in a court of law. If not for this, Brenton Butler would have been successfully railroaded by an overzealous son of a former sheriff and that guy would have been hailed wrongfully as a hero.

Casey & The Porcelain God

On the remote chance that Casey Anthony did not kill her child, the State had an obligation to at least explore other avenues. If they neglected to do so and wrongfully zeroed in on Casey, then we need them to next time use their resources more wisely so true justice can be served. One of the legal analysts made the very sound point that I myself often make, you learn far more about yourself in a defeat than you ever would in a victory. Hopefully the prosecution can direct the detectives to be more thorough next time, maybe conclusively connect the defendant to the body through DNA? Being that the body was found so close to the Anthony home, maybe they could have been more systematic in their search patterns?

All in all, regardless of the Court of Public Opinion, Casey is not guilty. Which, in fact, is a long ways from "innocent". The one thing that she did do was not report her child missing for a very long time, and this is something that most will hold against her for a very long time. Once she gains a measure of maturity, she will have to deal with it herself. I'm willing to bet that no matter how cruel the Public will treat her, it will be nothing compared to what she will eventually do to herself.

-ere'bodee's favorite mega, blogninja