Well, as desperately broke as I am right now, you wouldn't think that I would be glad to "lose" money, but I'm in a situation where I'm rather glad to get something out of the way that's been bothering me. Lately, it seems like a lot is irritating me. I guess I'm just frustrated. But lets get to the point:
Okay, for those that don't know me, I have a best friend who is Christian. I don't really have a religious denomination, because I personally think that organized religion is nothing more than a tool by which people divide people, but we'll come back to that later. Anyway, Ill is a great friend, he's been pushing my beats to some other inspirational rappers and they wanted to purchase some beats from me. All good, I can deal with it. I've heard some of the guys, and they can use the help. Christian Rap usually sucks, to be honest. I've heard a few guys who are very good, but the majority suck. The problem being that the focus isn't on the music, it's on the message. So since Ill thinks I'm better-than-average producer, he wanted to hook them up with some of my beats.
So I email him the beats, they check them out, they like them. They Google me, and my MySpace page comes up. Well, that was the end of that. They read my last post and say "Oh, we can't work with him, he uses profanity." Now according to Ill, they weren't rude about it, they even complimented my writing ability, but they felt like if they use my beats and some young fan Googles me the way they did, it could send the wrong message. Okay, I can dig it. But it irritates me just the same for a number of reasons.
This might sound strange coming from me because I just told you my best friend is a Christian (my best friend is also registered Republican): Generally, Christians get on my last fucking nerve.
I am no Christian, but I try to live my life like Christ. He did what he did to help, he did not judge, he loved all unconditionally. Actually, Jesus was a revolutionary. If he were around today, he'd be hanging with me and my people, not the sanctimonious pricks you find in churches. Having grown up in the South, I have had all I can stand of the Bible-Thumpers who look down on me one second, then I catch them in the strip club later. I'm speaking literally, not figuratively.
Religion is the shield everyone is quick to jump behind to show how contrite they are (unless you're in Hollywood or politics, then it's rehab), and I just believe that's the biggest bunch of bullshit ever. One of my exes did the exact same thing when we broke up to show just how much better her life was when we split, she went running to the church and even drug me along to a few sermons when we were trying to get back together. But not once during this 'church' thing did she stop having premarital sex. I bet she's going to church right now while still fornicating all over the place. I'm not trying to single out my ex, she was just the perfect example of the open hypocrisy of the (people of the) Church.
I have some historical issues with the church, especially in the South. Black people here in the South love them some church. When I was a kid, I was in church every Sunday I was at my Grandmother and Great-Grandmother's house. Oh, how I hated it. I think that's why I hate suits now. Bright and early Sunday morning, we were dragged from bed and forced into church. Sometimes you could work out a deal and go to Sunday school and skip church, but if it was First Sunday, all bets were off. You were going to be in church until damn near 2pm. We're talking anywhere from 3-4 hours. That... sucked. Sitting there in a hot ass church, in a suit, for hours, listening to some blowhard who just doesn't seem to know when to just shut... the... fuck... up. When I turned 12 my mom decided that it was my choice whether I went to church, and I went to my Boy Scout activities there, but I was out of that other shit, full stop.
But that's just my personal history. Speaking on American history, I don't know why Black people love the church so much when the church was very much instrumental in our servitude here. Africans didn't practice Christianity, and in the beginning, neither did the slaves. We were property. The mentality of the whites at that time was "You wouldn't bring your cow to church, why bring a slave?" We were property and were not worthy of their religion. It wasn't until William Lynch wrote his letter to the Southern SlaveMasters that they began to realize and exploit the benefits of indoctrination and assimilation. If you teach a slave to be a 'good Christian', then he would tell on the other slaves for stealing food, because everybody knows stealing is wrong. Slaves were not permitted to gather en masse for fear of them organizing against their masters, but church was the only exception. So Blacks in the South devoted themselves to it, it was the only way we could have 'community', was in communion.
Religion was the dividing line between Malcom and Martin. Martin Luther King wanted peaceful protest. Malcom X was not so accomodating. I fell closer to Malcom, I ain't with that 'turn the other cheek' shit too much. I turn a cheek once. Once you slap the other one, what am I supposed to do? The people of the Church were complacent for too long, in my opinion. I almost joined the Nation Of Islam because of my feelings towards the Christian Baptist Church, but I couldn't swallow some of their more-controversial beliefs (All whites being devils and all Blacks being good was a little too much for me. During that time I had Caucasians that I called Brothers and Negroes I was literally trying to kill, I mean shooting at them when I saw them). But anyone that studies history knows that first the soldiers come in, then the missionaries come next, because once the body is enslaved, you just have to put a lock on the mind and you got them.
Going back to being a kid in church, they made a fatal mistake with me that I hold onto to this day. Right around the time I was 10, somebody approached me and wanted to 'save' me. He sat down with me and talked about Jesus, and God, and how he loved me and died for my sins, and he asked me if I read the Bible (which I had, I loved reading bible stories as a kid) but I asked him about two thing that utterly fascinated me in the 5th grade... dinosaurs and UFOs. I couldn't understand why they weren't in the Bible?
I can only imagine what must have gone through this man's mind faced with an inquisitive know-it-all kid like myself and being asked a question that continues to stump the religious, but he tried to resort to a "You-just-have-to-believe" explanation. That officially let me know that these people in this whole Church thing are the biggest bunch of idiots ever if they thought they were going to tell me to ignore something I can see with my own eyes for something you're telling me. I've grown older and done investigation of my own, considering information from different sources, and I still don't have a definitive answer for those questions, but I know that I still believe that UFOs exist, that this universe is way too fucking big for our planet to be the only one with life on it, and I see fossils all the damn time and they are a new kind of stupid if I'm going to forget that.
Russell Simmons is one of my rabbis. If you read his book "Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success", he defines a rabbi as a spiritual advisor, someone who helps you in your path to enlightenment. If Uncle Rush does it or says it, I'm down with it. One of his quotes from the book is "I'm more concerned with cursed actions than curse words." I can care less about the fact that someone might use profanity if his actions demonstrate that he is a person who is concerned about the welfare of others. Obviously I can speak without using profanity if I so choose, but that's my choice. If you can't deal with me for that fact alone, then speed on before you get peed on. Less and less people define themselves as 'religious' in the United States, and I see that trend continuing. I could do a whole 'nother blog on the subject of gay marriage. I'm sorry that I won't be getting that money because I could really use it right now, but I respect their principles and I hope they find someone who fits their image better. If this makes me undesirable, I'd rather be hated for what I am than liked for something I'm not.
In other words, please feel free to suck dick through a fucking straw.
-ere'bodee's favorite mega, blogninja