I've only recently started doing a lot of blogging outside of my MySpace Page. I've developed some good relationships there and my traffic is very steady (avg. 500 views a week, for a semi-modest guy such as myself), but some of the limitations and the problems with the interface have prompted my gravitation to Blogger.com. I don't get as personal here as I do on my MySpace, that's a different tone.
Recently, I did a very personal blog about a former friend in relation to a statement he made. He basically called me a woman-beater, which was technically true. Let me explain... this person was a very close personal friend of mine who slept with my ex-girlfriend. During the course of my on-again-off-again relationship with my ex, we had an 'off' due to a physical confrontation between us. We had a heated exchange, and I tried to leave via the front door, but she blocked my path. I retreated to a bathroom and locked the door, but she kicked the door in and got right up in my face. I reacted, slamming her against the door much harder than I wanted to... I was horrified that I allowed myself to get that angry, and I vowed that I'd never put my hands on another woman I professed to love. Anyway, this is the girl he slept with, and his insult was meant to paint me in a negative light to justify the fact that he betrayed a good friend, his wife, and his 3 kids. Anyway, that's not my point.
Much has been said and is being said about domestic violence in this country right now due to the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. I have refrained from blogging about it because it's so emotionally charged, but now I feel like I should say something because I can understand both positions. I know domestic violence all-too-well, I have been literally fighting against it all my life, since I was 10 years old and chased my step-father beside my mother almost 3 miles with a leg from an end-table. Straight up, my Mom didn't play that shit. You hit, you get hit back. You don't want to get hit? As my Mom would say “Keep ya' hands off people churrin...” (that's “children” for those who don't speak Floridian) And everyone is someone's 'child'. The only people you're allowed to hit, are your children. (If you aren't taking advantage of this, you must be some sort of genius, or some sort of fool. Time will determine...)
So this is my opinion, for what it's worth, but Chris Brown is in a very scary position. Many people want to give him the same benefit of doubt that the justice system is supposed to provide, but that's totally up to the observer. The court of public opinion is a very fickle beast. He will have his day in court, but the public will make up their minds long before that jury ever does. I just don't know how intelligently he's handled things to this point, and I wonder what he can do to abate the hemorrhaging of his career.
R. Kelly managed to survive his very public debacle for two reasons: 1) The girl in his incident was not another celebrity, just an anonymous face and 2) his fan base is much, much older than that of Chris Brown. Robert Kelly was Mr-12-Play. Chris Brown is Double-Mint-Singing-Nickelodeon-Good-Dude. Kids would have committed murder for him. Parents are not going to soon forget this.
So for him, 'handling' this is of a priority...but to me, that's exactly the problem. They have made it very clear that this is what they need to do, the 'They' being Chris Brown's handlers, whomever that might be. And the public usually takes issue with attempts at being 'handled'.
Like I said, when I did what I did, I was horrified. I truly felt bad. I still feel bad. But I learned from the situation and I am determined to never repeat it again. So much so that I myself will dial 911 if I am ever threatened by a woman, and I'll let her get her ass locked the kcuf up, not me. I'll come bail you out, baby. I might even ask the State Attorney to drop the charges. Once. That next time? Ya' ass is talking to the judge. Period. Don't touch me, and I won't touch you.
Chris Brown is just not looking contrite. Some might say “He ain't gotta put on a show for people.” Uh, actually, yes... he does. He needs to. Bad. But the trick is, this speaking-through-your-people-to-say-the-right-thing, is abso-fucking-lute-ly the Big Fat Fail-Whale. People need to hear the words coming out of your mouth and they need to (more importantly) feel where you are speaking from.
Speaking from my life-experience, I am almost certain this will happen again. Nothing I'm seeing from Chris tells me otherwise. He's more worried about what everybody “thinks” rather than seeking any sort of redemption. I think it bothers him that people are having the same conversation about him that he and his sister had with his mother about his step-father.
Most of the professionals who are offering advice to Rihanna are saying “Dip”. Oprah, a woman who has extensive knowledge on the subject, said that he will do it again. Oprah's friend Dr. Michelle says Rihanna needs a little break from relationships. When it comes to this kind of problem, I want everybody to be wrong if it means avoiding another Nicole Brown-Simpson. I hope CB proves to be really amazing, I really do. Beat the odds. Like Poker. Because I think that the idea of 'drawing dead' is a terrible turn of a phrase.
So that's my piece of peace. After 48 hours of “Age Of Conan”, I'm kinda beat. Until next time.
-ere'bodee's favorite mega, blogninja